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1. |
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She’s hanging out with the men in dresses
Evensong and evening classes
A sweet contentment in her eyes
I’m trying hard not to act surprised
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girlfriend
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girl
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girlfriend
And I can’t get her back
And I just want her back…
She’s going off to church on Sunday
The Harvest Festival on Monday
We go to bed but we don’t make love
Cause her thoughts are lost to the one above
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girlfriend
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girl
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girlfriend
And I can’t get her back
And I just want her back…
I know you’re up there listening
So go ahead and do the decent thing
Perform a little miracle
I must preferred her
Cynical,
Miserable,
Impossible
Hysterical,
Illogical,
Despicable….
Now all I seem to do is mope around the house
Feeling like the antichrist
She says she’s training to be missionary or such like….
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girlfriend
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girl
Oh yeah Jesus stole my girlfriend
And I can’t get her back
And I just want her back…
Oh what does he care ….
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2. |
A Vision
02:36
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I had my hair shaved at the back like Terry Hall in 1984
I was waiting at the bus stop heading off to work at the mental hospital
Harrington Jacket, smoking B&H I spent forever in the record shop
It was just another routine summer’s day back in Selly Oak
But the sun it seemed a little too bright for the sky
Little figurines started to dance in my minds eye
I had a vision
I had a vision
I was transfixed and all I could see was a psychedelic wash of light
The cars left pretty trails behind and the road started melting
Like a Salvador Dali painting
A sense of inner harmony and peace took over me
Like I knew what I was here for like I knew what to believe
I had a vision –
I had a vision –
Breakdown section
The bus drove by I was on another plain but the plane came down soon after that
I felt like a twat, just sat there… A woman said are you OK?
People were staring someone said ‘are you OK’ I said I never felt this good before in all my life, never felt this good in all my life…
So took the day off sick and went to bed in the middle of the afternoon…
I had a vision
I had a vision
I had a vision
I had a vision
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3. |
Man About The House
03:16
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She needs a man about the house someone who can do a proper job
A sensitive yet sensible example not a helpless good for nothing slob
What good’s a man about the house when all he does is get under your feet
Go to the football and to the pub you can pick one up like that on any street
A broken dream machine that’s way beyond repair
No good to anyone oh how she must despair
She needs a man about the house someone who won’t get under her skin
Tells herself she’s the only one stupid enough to live with him
The only person he loves is himself he never does a blessed thing
Locks himself away inside his room create some idea…berate some idea
One night with Pamela Sigourney or Jennifer
A Harley Davidson trip across America
To get things done around her you might as well do them yourself
In the time that it takes him to think
You could have painted the fence
Wallpapered the living room
You could have fixed that kitchen sink
A broken dream machine that’s way beyond repair
No good to anyone oh how she must despair
One night with Pamela Sigourney or Jennifer
A Harley Davidson trip across America
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4. |
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I used to be a feminist I used to be a freak
Sold my sperm for bus fare I got £15 a week
The jobs as good as yours she said your numbers on the pot
Just abstain the night before and bring us every drop
But don’t expect a helping hand cause we’re strictly DIY
T here’s a pile of magazines next door you’re most welcome to try
We freeze it in a cryostat and you sign your name right here
It’s a brave new world out there she said for a genetic engineer
Sperm Donor...
Production and delivery became the weekly norm
I held the pot under my arm to keep the sample warmIn
the art of masturbation I truly excelled
Until I broke the night before rule once again and got expelled
And sometimes in my darker moments I imagine successes
Kids grown up and questioning paternal second guesses
Campaigning on the TV for the records and the access
With Kilroy finger pointing stage-managing the masses
Sperm Donor....money for old rope
It’s funny but it’s no joke
Blood test DNA
Get away…..
So if you’ve been affected by the issues in this song
I don’t have any answers there is no right from wrong
But should you track me down here then I’m certain come what may
I could never be your father nor could I ever turn you away
No matter where you got your genes or the colours in your hair
There’s a place for you in this world we can never share
And if I’m the one who gave you life by some proximity
I just hope to god you haven’t turned out anything like me…
Sperm Donor
Money for old rope
It’s funny but it’s no joke
Blood test DNA
Get away….
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5. |
Flatter & Deceive
04:01
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You can call me Vinny Peculiar but it’s not my real name
I made it up all because my real one is lame
I was born in 57 in the county of Worcestershire
I was raised a Methodist with Jesus in my ear
I went to Sunday school I said my prayers
In teenage makeup and Levi flares
I joined the boys brigade couldn’t wait to leave
I learned to flatter and deceive
I married young and I was happy, happy with my lot
Had a little baby girl I became a baby swot
Bought a house in Birmingham and joined the CND
Travelling by Midland Red to the asylum and the nursery
I went to training school to become a nurse
I saw the sex pistols and the adverts
I swore I loved you then and that I’d never leave
But I’d learned to flatter and deceive 17 years later I’m writing this song
I know now what other people have known all along
The presents and the flowers that I’m sending you today are,
Pitiful excuses from the dad who went away
I’d go to festivals I’d go abroad
I’ve still got Sleeping Gas but not Reward
In this reality I only make believe
Having learned to flatter and deceive
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6. |
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I’m in the everlasting teenage bedroom
I play guitar and look into the mirror
Smoke cigarettes and drink cheap beer
Am I the only person in here?
I catalogue my record collection
I’m reading Playboy Mayfair and Forum
I play loud music late into the night
I’m in the everlasting teenage bedroom
And everything’s all right
I have no partner no job no children
And I’m attracted to the politics of freedom
I love my friends I think about them often
And we make plans and someday they’re going to happen
I’m in the everlasting teenage bedroom
And everything’s all right
And I don’t care for the older generation
I’ve got the whole of my life before me
I’ll make mistakes but I’ll put them behind me
Times on my side and it always will be
In the everlasting teenage bedroom
Everything’s all right
Times on my side
Everything’s all right
Alright
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7. |
Lazy Bohemians
04:26
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The lazy bohemians sat out on the rooftops
Whistling at schoolgirls sucking on ice-pops
Those carefree idealists doing just as they want to
There’s a room in the attic for somebody like you
Lazy bohemians lazy by design
Cant get up in the morning can’t be arsed to go out at night
Talking bout a revolution hey man they’re out of sight
The lazy bohemians loathe big corporations
And the work ethic wind up of past generations
Those shaman in shameless
Pursuit of sensation picking a fight with my imagination
Lazy bohemians good for nothing swine
Picking holes in the system towing the establishment line
Talking bout a revolution
And all the wanting to be good people turn into those who never would people
And all the happy just to be people turn into you and me people
Get lazy go hazy
Crazy bohemians are throwing a party
Everybody’s invited don’t worry be happy
If you want to stay over you’re welcome to use my room
I’ll be cooking the dinner and sleeping late into the afternoon
There’s a sleeping bag in the corner
Yeah just behind the sofa
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8. |
Dirty Weekend
04:24
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You said anywhere will do just as long as I’m with you
Just get the tickets just book the room
We can be who we want escape where we’re from
We’ll be back so quick no one will know we’re gone
On the seat of the bus you made me go red
Then finished me off on the hotel bed
I had stars in my eyes you were older and wiser than I was
My dirty weekend
All grown up playing happy pretend
Getting caught out in the end
When I said goodbye I knew that I would never see you again
There were photographs in the drawers of a naked man called David
With a large and flaccid cock cowboy boots and an earring
A spy hole in the wall for the pervert in the hall
I played the gigolo you played the whore
And we painted the town all the usual shades
Holding hands and making promises in the light house rays
I’d put on your makeup you’d put on a show
For the boy in reception before we had to go
And when I woke in a dream like state last night it was as if I was 19 again in Scarborough
My dirty weekend
All grown up playing happy pretend
We’re all caught out in the end
When I said good bye I knew that I would never see you again
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9. |
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I’m sitting on top of the world
Holding the hand of a beautiful girl
I’m making the breakfast and cutting the lawn
Talking on the telephone about the day you were born
Sometimes I feel like a king in spite of myself
Meeting my friends out on the town
Getting in late and fooling around
Taping new songs at home in the dark
Taking the kids to the park for a lark about
Sometimes I feel like a king in spite of myself
Reading the papers and watching TV
Listening to John Coltrane Live at the BBC
Shopping for trinkets and for spices
Happily left to my own devices
Sometimes I feel like a king in spite of myself
Looking at the stars lighting up the sky
Holding my breath under water happy to be alive
I’m finishing off The Book of Dave
And listening to The Auteurs – ‘New Wave’
Sometimes I feel like a king in spite of myself
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10. |
Playing On The Pier
04:27
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From here you can see the donkeys
Braided the same as fifty years ago
When I was a lad and my family sat
Amongst the thousands on the sands
As I played
And I remember my dad with his trousers rolled up
And the knotted handkerchief for the sun was hot
As he made his way through the crowds
To buy a tray of tea and sticky buns
As I played
And I remember my mother sitting stiffly in the deckchair
So unused to such enforced relaxation
Knitting frantically throughout the day
The completed vests in a bundle at her feet
As I played
And I remember my sister dreamily looking out to see
Transfixed by growing dreams of being someone
And finding herself unable to join in the social chat
Setting herself apart and sulking in a pretty way
As I played
I remember my brother too old for buckets and spades
But wanting to be a part of it all
And will to scrabble in the sand and build bridges
And wait for the sea to erode and destroy
As I played
But most I remember being with my family
On the beach below me by the donkeys
And for a second I swore I could see all of us
In careless unity, immortal and transient -
As I played
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11. |
The Hairdressers
02:19
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I still get nervous at the hairdressers
The girls the gadgets the clippers the sink the apron and the mirror always the mirror
So how do you like it?
Shaped over the ears square at the back
Are you a student a good laugh?
And the radio always the radio
I’ve been to a few salons in my time
I’ve even had them visit me at home
Truth is I’m still looking yearning longing dreaming of that elusive style
To call my own
I still get nervous at the Hairdressers
The girls the gadgets the clippers the sink the apron the water-spray and
The mirror always the mirror
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12. |
Time For Bed
03:13
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A is for the apple
B is for the ball
C is for the crucifix hung upon the wall
D is for the distance
E for the effect
F it lasts forever
G is as good as it will get
H is for the heroin
I is for an eye
J is for the jugular and
K is keen to die
L is for the loves
M is for the mind
N is just for nobody
O can only find
P is like a parachute
Q is always queer
R is on the radio where the
S’s sneer
T is in temptation
U is underground
V is for the Velvets behind a wall of sound
W won't trouble you with
EXerpts one by one
Why don’t you do yourself a favour and be GONE
Cut off your ties
quit while You’re ahead
Remember what Zebedee said
Time for bed
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13. |
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Working man down the club putting the world to rights
A super cockle sub on Tamla Motown nights
Walk the dog around the block put the kids to bed
You’re losing track of time you’re going to fall asleep in the shed
I said goodbye to my generation
I never heard from them again
Not me
Kissing in Jakes Alley throwing arrows into the sky
They all fall down and they land in your eye
Your dinners in the bin its nearly half past there
Not seen you around for a while no you wont remember me
I said goodbye to my generation
I never heard from them again
The new estate is falling down
They don’t build them like they used top
The old boy network didn’t really suit you
Those teenage diaries are better left unread
Miscarriages of justice fester in the head
I said goodbye to my generation
I never heard from them again
Spent all my life running away from…
Easter parade in the village hall the minister for tea
Con men in the pulpit and gangsters on TV
Take a look if you want to take a picture take a holiday
Let me back at the drop of a hat its as if I never went away
I said goodbye to my generation
I never heard from them again
I said goodbye
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14. |
Egg Incident
02:52
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Three youths were severely reprimanded by the police for throwing eggs at several houses on the Barley Mow Lane Estate in Catshill at approximately 8.45pm last Friday night. The boys, all in there early teens, were witnessed running at speed from the crime scene by local resident Mr Joseph Sneed who kindly telephoned this office after first alerting the police. The youths, all of them local boys who cannot be named for legal reasons were instructed to apologise to the homeowners and to clean up the mess.
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Vinny Peculiar Worcester, UK
Vinny Peculiar variously described as – ‘An under sung national treasure’ [UNCUT Magazine]– a warm hearted Morrissey [Q Magazine] and ‘The missing link between Jarvis Cocker and poet Roger McGough and some of the wittiest lyrics this side of Wreckless Eric’ IRISH TIMES ... more
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