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1. |
I Came Back As A Girl
04:31
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I Came Back As a Girl
They said I was no more
Said I’d been and gone
My time was all over
All over and done
My star had faded out
Out of time and out of space
But I returned
To restart the race
Swore it was the end of the world
But I came back
Back as a girl
Sugar and spice and all things nice
My hands were tiny
You said they were good for porn…not that I ever did any
My heart was big
My soul reborn
I tasted of pear drops and strawberry lip-gloss
My shoes were stacked up high
I couldn’t read maps
But I would try I’d try…oh how I’d try
Swore it was the end of the world
But I came back
Back as a girl
Sugar and spice and all things nice
I could be devious
I could be serious
I could be cruel and I could be oh so imperious
Oh so mischievous
I shopped until I dropped
So easily I cried
At Sleepless in Seattle and the one about the virgin bride…yeah I loved that one
I grew my hair
I grew my nails I got a
Dolphin tattoo
No one believed me when I said
The real me is dead
They thought I’d lost my head…they thought I’d lost it
Swore it was the end of the world
But I came back
Back as a girl
Sugar and spice and all things nice
Back in extra time
Back in the firing line
Back on the town with Jeff and Dave
Were going to the pub and to the rave
I’m dancing my life away
Will it always be this way?
I don’t know
I just don’t know…I just don’t know
I came back as a girl
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2. |
House Of Girls
03:19
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House of Girls
Little Rachel plays the queen of hearts
And pirouettes like Darcy
Slips into her baby dolls and saucy lingerie
Dearest Tristan on the web cam says
He just loves to watch a pretty girl moan
Care to join him in the holidays
He says he’ll make see you feel at home
He’s in the house of girls
Jeff the tycoon and his PA Sue
Go dancing on the old shag pile
I want to do it all night long she says
Lionel Richie style
I truly missed you in the holidays
LA reeks of sweat and aerosol gas
So glad you’re here baby get me a beer
And then I’ll let you kiss my
You can kiss me…
Peter loves the new Jacuzzi
Makes a toast and takes a happy pill
Here’s to my little angel
Here’s to you my gorgeous little angel…still
There are mirrors on the ceiling
Condoms on the shelf by the door
Every single night it’s a gentlemen’s delight
And you can hardly ask for more
Precious trinkets from the Middle East
How wonderful so kind…
There’s something here you really have to try
And its going to blow your tiny mind, oh yes
Its gonna blow your tiny miiiiind…..
In the house of girls
We’re in the house of girls
Hundreds of girls
Thousands of girls
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3. |
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Theres comes a time of no reply
There comes a time to say goodbye
And now the time is here
Goodbye my love my dear
Goodbye
Never mind the hurt and the cruel regrets
Nor the bitter tears we shed
Put the photographs away for another rainy day to come
In April
It doesn't matter how far I move away
Part of me will be with you forever
I know it sounds absurd but I wish that I could stay
In your loving arms forever
But I don't want to be your new best friend
So I can never see you again
Theres nothing more to add
I'm just so very sad
Today
Just so very sad
Today
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4. |
Trial By Lingerie
03:34
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Trial by Lingerie
She needed some new underwear
So after the cinema
We went to the Trafford Centre
Found ourselves in
Marks and Spencer
These will do the trick she said…nice
I say the thong seems to have given way to something altogether more rounded?
The Brazilian she said
That’s what the new shape is called
Oh …
I thought that was something to do with shaving I say, a little too smugly – no reaction
Some ten minutes later she’s paying at the counter at the front of the queue when she shouts across the shop floor
‘Can you just bring me another size 12 in the black?’
‘They’re on offer, thanks’…
I return to the briefs and bras section but in haste get all confused and start to panic, I can’t find them, I’m going round in circles, bras and knickers, briefs and stockings I am overwhelmed, overcome…
At this point the women in the queue all turn around, they too are looking at me like I’m on trial, on trial by lingerie
Oh dear…
We have further words and this time she’s raised her voice, ‘I can see them from here’ - she rolls her eyes and leaves the queue, marches towards me and duly identifies the required knickers giving them a little wave in the air signalling success, result!
Out of the corner of my eye I can see other women in the queue smiling, nudge nudging, wink winking, and collectively groaning ‘men egh
I have behaved to type, and they know it, and I know it…
I apologize
The girl at the till is patient and polite
It’s easy to get confused she says a little too sweetly
It happens all the time
The store is closing
We say goodbye
Do you mind if I go to HMV I say?
Only if you promise to be quick is the reply…
Trial by lingerie
I’m on trial by lingerie
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Vinny Peculiar Worcester, UK
Vinny Peculiar variously described as – ‘An under sung national treasure’ [UNCUT Magazine]– a warm hearted Morrissey [Q Magazine] and ‘The missing link between Jarvis Cocker and poet Roger McGough and some of the wittiest lyrics this side of Wreckless Eric’ IRISH TIMES ... more
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